Being trans is not a choice, it is how you are born

In Montreal, in particular, the Professional Dommes (Mistresses/Dominatrixes) have had to lower rates horrendously, and as well have lost out to both escorts and massage parlours. Once just a few years ago able to charge $250-$300 an hour, they have lowered to $80-$140 an hour on average because of both escort services and massage parlours offering “BDSM services”.

Why go to a Pro Domme when you can go to a massage parlour for $50-$60 and even get a “handy”?

I’ll tell you why.

You put your health, safety and even, yes, LIFE on the line with them, whereas Pro Dommes who are actually worth their salt the risk is so low as to be negligible. The girls in the massage parlours or escort agencies (and independents) do NOT know a single thing about how to do things safely, how to reduce risk, etc, and often do things that are in fact NOT what BDSM is.

When you pay the fee for a Pro Domme, sure, 99% of the time you won’t get off sexually. That is NOT the point. You are paying for their experience, capabilities, specialties, etc, and well gear and costumes etc DO cost a lot as well!

When choosing a Pro Domme, find out how long they have been doing it (hint a 21 year old wearing latex is very likely NOT experienced, just good looking). Pay for the experience, not how young or beautiful. Even place “trick questions” to see their response. Ask for instance “I love having my lower back hit really hard”. They say “ok no problem” – RUN RUN RUN. (Kidneys etc.. hello???). Don’t just go book because she has a cool ad/website and she is young and hot. I see farrrrrr too many who are just the “S and M” type, and not what you think – the “Stand and Model” type. They are 20-30 years old, never mentored, never learned, just look hot and have tons of latex or leather etc.

Don’t put yourself at risk. Go for those who actually KNOW this stuff, and live the lifestyle (most Pro Dommes do, those that are Pro only I do question a bit). An escort or massage parlour is too dangerous on too many levels. Get the session with someone who knows, pay the fee, and if you need to cum, do it back home thinking of the session and how good it actually was). Otherwise if you want sex and BDSM and with a helluva lot of risk reduction, get off your ass, get out there, get known, talk, communicate, be patient and boom it will happen.


OK. Outing is bad. Transphobia is bad. Bullying is bad. Hatred is bad.

Yet one person keeps his Facebook and FetLife accounts despite constant PROOF he is an outer, transphobe, bully, and bigot. 

Who? Well! Gee! Surprise surprise! “Master John” from the “Everything to do With Sex Show” / “Salon du L’amour et de la Seduction”!!!! And he is also likely being fed latest info from “Lady Theresa” at CFB Trenton, an ally of his, who would be able to suss out someone’s latest location!!!

Want some proof? Huh? Well here you go!




And yes, permission was given to me to distribute these screen captures provided to me by one of the victims. KEYWORD – VICTIM!!!!

Have NOTHING to do with The Everything to do With Sex Show until he is gone, report him on Facebook at every turn you can, and on FetLife as well (just put in Master John and in Quinte and boomba baby…). 

This cannot be tolerated. This has now escalated to IN PERSON in their new location and they fear for their safety, all because of one silly thing YEARS ago, that should have been let go by the BULLY. And now has evolved into a MAJOR investigation. 

If you get proof of this bully in regards to this post it. Report it. Other bullying on others (which is likely because he seems to think he is the Quinte BDSM mafia boss!!!) then report report report!!! The more that the sites get, the RCMP get, etc, the better, and this guy will go to prison, where the tides will be turned on him because he IS a prison guard!!!! 

Montreal Pride 2013

Had a GREAT time at this years Montreal Pride!

As always, the ALCC/CCVA had a presence, both at community day and in the parade. Thank you to those who volunteered time at the table and came and marched with us! 

ImageFor those saying trans* shouldn’t be part, perhaps think again. We have a LOT of work to do in regards to education and at the least tolerance, and if there are MORE trans* there to say “hey! WE MATTER!” then the BETTER! If you sit on your ass and don’t march for the rights you deserve, just because you think it’s only for LGB instead of T, think again and hang your head in shame.

First, trans* started the movement with Stonewall. Second, Montreal Pride made a point of saying that trans* need more support, help, etc, and that we are big targets of hate. Even in Montreal (I am an example, attacked in my neighbourhood for being trans* and having to sleep with both a knife and hammer by my bed thanks to the hate).

Show up. Be proud of being trans*. We can’t have a “trans* pride parade”, it wouldn’t even be a block long. So… get OUT and show what trans* IS and dispel the myths we’re what so many think. Fight for your rights. Don’t be armchair generals and sit by, help those of us who fight for your rights.


Politics within communities

They suck. They hellasuck.

Stop them. They do no good. At all. They HURT what you want to support than help.

You don’t like someone? Fine. If you want to be PROFESSIONAL about what you do or support, you do NOT act like a twit. You do NOT be “holier than thou”.  You do not hold things against friends who strive to BE professional. In otherwords you be adult, grown up, mature about it.

If you cannot be, then step back, step away, take a break.


One thing I have noticed within our “community” are the “trannier than thou” types (first word not meant as any offence BTW). By that I mean those who do to others in our so called community what they accuse the cisgenders of doing to us.

One example is “you haven’t finished hair removal so you aren’t transsexual”.  Well, some simply cannot afford it!  For some it’s a choice of eating or hair removal.  Food is essential to continued existence… so well I think it’s obvious that a person would choose to *eat* before paying out the gobs of cash for removal.

“You don’t pass in public so you’re not transsexual”.  Hello? Guess what? Not everyone “passes”. And guess what? No amount of cosmetic surgery will ever hide clues to a persons original sex at birth.  There are just some things that WILL give us away, pointe finale. Transsexuality is NOT about “passing”, it’s about being the gender you were meant to be whether you “pass” or not.

“You don’t want the complete surgery so you’re not transsexual”.  Horse hockey.  If someone goes as far as *they* need, then so what?  They’re happy, why should another say that they are any less because they aren’t doing what they want to *impose* upon another?

“You are not interested in guys, so you can’t be!”  Whoah whoah whoah!  Sexual preference and gender identity are two SEPARATE things.  So by the previous statement, a woman who doesn’t like men isn’t a woman, or a man that doesn’t like women isn’t a man. Good grief.

Then there are those in the transsexual community that put down those who are gender fluid, gender queer, crossdresser/transvestite, etc etc etc.  Hey, stop it. You are doing to those under the gender umbrella that you hate when someone does to YOU.  If a person is happy, let them BE happy with who they are.

If the trans etc community wants to be taken seriously, this bullshit really does have to stop. No ones pain is any less than anothers pain, it is painful to them.

Just a short note

For those wondering about this blog, and it’s title (“Trans is Not a Choice”), it is a blog on trans issues (primarily transsexual but as well others such as CD/TV etc).

I’ll share not only stories I found of relevance, but my thoughts on them, as well as other items I feel that need to be said.


More coming soon!